So . . . . had an interesting encounter today. Ran into h_manga today, at my place of work. Apparently he's applying for a position.

This creates an interesting situation. On the one hand, this could be somewhat awkward, especially if he ends up on my project. On the other hand, though, I know he's an excellent employee no matter the position and I have no doubt he would bring such professionalism and organization to the company.

I'm focusing on the latter, as I despise people who bring their personal past into a professional work environment and allow it to color the perceptions of themselves and others.

With that said, I have seen the interview documentation (and before anyone asks, I see most interview documentation. I run one of the projects and use said documentation to tell our recruiters if someone is good for my particular project). Without going into specifics I have to say that it was a fairly positive thing. H, if you want details you can ask. I can't disclose everything but I can give highlights, if you'd like.

Based on what I saw, I think there is a very good chance of a job offering if there's a position open (and I think one of our imaging floors is gearing up for several new projects).

Oh, and H, I realized my brief interaction with you may have come off negatively (the quote "what the fuck are you doing here" comes to mind). I honestly didn't mean it as assholish as it sounded. You just surprised me, heh.

Well, I haven't been on here much. Probably because the only people who might read this are people I really don't associate much with anymore, for various reasons and not all of them (or even most of them) negative.

I feel that this is something they might like to know, though.

Raider is dying. He has cancer, possible in the brain. Depending on how he responds to meds, he'll likely be put to sleep this week.

For more information and to find my more general weblog, check out http://blog.criticalbotch.net

It's mostly gaming, but it has some other information as well, such as this gem.

I haven't updated much because as far as I know, the only two people who might actually read this have little to no internet at the moment. However, I felt that this was a huge thing and when/if they read this they would agree. Be warned, it's long.

Let me ask you something. What is the one thing that makes all the great dramas . . . great dramas? Emotion!
What do most games lack? Emotion.

Let's take a look at what might arguably be the most successful RPG of all time: Final Fantasy 7. Say what you will about the game, love it or hate it, it sold like nothing else and still has a tremendous fan base. Why?

Personally, I think it had a lot to do with the scene at the end of Disk 1: the death of Aeris (apologies if you never played the game and I just spoiled it for you). Here players are presented with something they have not had before in a game: a sense of loss. This can be quite profound. They played through the game watching romance blossom between this woman and the main character, only to have it plucked away by Cloud's (the main character) arch-rival.

I imagine most people sat there in complete shock, not sure if what they were seeing was real. Many may have had my reaction: "oh . . . shit . . . ". There's a reason the internet buzzed with rumors of ways to bring Aeris back to life, or unluck a sectret ending where she is revived. People wanted her to live and felt real sorrow at her passing. Keep in mind that this is a very basic polygonal character in a video game. Graphics quality wise, this game was quite low quality (although breakthrough for it's time). So the only thing people had to go on was a percieved personality and the interactions of the characters. Square managed to evoke real, true, honest-to-god feelings in people for this collection of polygons on their screens. That, my friends, is story telling.

I have yet to really see any other game do this quite so well. Perhaps they're afraid of being labled 'copy cats'. Perhaps they don't want to deal with the outcry that is associated with real emotion. It's my understanding that there were actual petitions written and campaigns waged over this.

All of that is more of an intro the real thought for the day. I was driving home, trying to come up with a winning idea for a game, and had an ipiffany; every RPG I've played has centered around saving the world. Not their country, or loved ones. Just the world. Each and every time. When I play I have this sense of "I'm the PC, I'm the head ass-kicker in these parts". It's very over the top. Which is fun, don't get me wrong, but it stops leaving a lasting impression the umpteenth time you save the world. I'm not sure about anyone else, but I'm tired of playing games featuring larger than life characters. Characters that are special and just happen to be that much better than everyone else and have the ungodly skills to back it up.



Game Idea Rule #1: Move away from world-saving and larger-than-life

Straying back to FF7, I realized that real emotion is a power thing. If I can make someone cry because of a tradegic event in my game, I've achieved a large feat. If I can make some one feel joy in the same game, I've done the near-impossible. Keep in mind that these emotions are not counting a persons overall personality. If you get a kick out of hearing the dying sound of a virtual enemy, then you'll feel happy after each battle. That's not the point. I mean emotion from a stroyline stand point. I'm talking about scenes that make you sit back and go 'damn, that was fucked up . . .' or 'oh my god, that was beautiful'. I'm talking about the times where you almost (or actually do) sit up and cheer for the good guys.

Game Idea Rule #2: Emotion makes memories

With this in mind, I realized that the game I wanted to make was a far cry from the one I was working on. I had been designing this whole 'chosen one' plot, complete with 'only the hero has this power, and it kicks ass' kind of concepts. And today, I realize that about six years of design and reworking has been for naught. I'm actually glad for it, because I was having trouble keeping up with my own grandiose idea.

Instead, I present this idea for a game, tenatively called Romancing the Stars:

This could be any time period, but for the sake of the idea (and the working name), we'll put it near-future to late-future with a galaxy spanning civilization. The civilization is run by a galactic empire (naturally), with republic tendancies (think a merger between the U.S., U.K., and Japan). Dissent has been growing in the past decade among the galactic worlds, and rumors of an uprising have been floating around.

On a rimward world (yet unnamed) lives a young man, Jacob, with his wife Kaely whom he loves very much. He's not always good at showing it, but he'd die for her in an instant. Kaely is a strong woman who in recent years gave birth to a son. She is fiercely loyal to Jacob, and loves him with all her heart.

About the time that their son turns five (or eight, some young but not too young age), civil war breaks out in the Empire. The fighting reaches the rimward world in short time. Jacob is frantic with fear, for his son has gone missing. He and Kaely are hurrying to find their son and make it to the transport to the starport for the evacuation when all hell breaks loose. One side (no one is quite sure who), begins orbital bombardment of the planet. Under this onslaught the skies are darkend with fighter craft of both sides, flying into combat. Bombs are dropped, missiles go wayward . . . the farm/city/town Jacob and Kaely live in is reduced to burning rubble in short order. During this whole time, Jacob and Kaely are scouring the area for their child, hoping against hope that he still lives. Troops invade the area after a particularly vicious bombardment. Fighting begins in the streets. Jacob and Kaely are seperated at some point. Jacob is taken by one side and Kaely by the other. As they are being lead away - shots firing all around them, explosions throwing dirt and worse into the air near them - they see each other across the battlefield. Jacob and Kaely struggle mightily against their captors, calling to each other with voices filled with passion and dread. And then they're gone.

That's the basic idea I have for the intro sequence to set the stage. From there you will play as either Jacob or Kaely. Jacob has been pressed into service by the side which captured him. However, his thoughts are ever on his wife and son. The story line for both essentially revolves around the one trying to find the other and their child in the middle of civil war. They will keep passing each other by barely a day, tracking down rumors of their loved ones.

The concpet is to have the storyline for both Jacob and Kaely appeal to the relevant gender. I want women to be intersted in playing this game and follow the trials and tribulations of Kaely as she searches for her love and child in a war torn galaxy. I want them to sympathize with her loss, to feel her pain and grow steeled as she does through the ordeals she endures. I do not have much thought out for Kaely at the moment because I want her storyline to be guided by women. I can't even begin to truly understand how their emotions interact with what is going on and so I will not write for them. I will leave that to those who can put themselves in her shoes and feel what she would feel.

Similarly I want men to associate with Jacob, the feelings of primal rage and passion at having lost all that was dear to him and his quest to find it again. I want them to know, if not feel themselves, the raging fire that burns in Jacob so hot that it is cold. Make no mistake, Jacob is not a 'bad ass'. He's just a man. It's his emotion and mentality that will make him stand out to players. The cold rage that carries through his body language and his voice. He isn't sure he can succeed, but he's determined to die trying. I want to tap into that often unspoken pool of emotion that all men have. Most men associate with rage and betrayal. They pick up on darker emotions and ideas such as vengance. That's only part of the story though. In order to be betrayed, you must trust. In order to want vengance, you must care deeply. Both betrayal and vengance come from a root emotion: pain and sadness. That pain is the direct result of love (usually). I want to touch the emotional side of men, without them knowing it. I want them to get as pissed as Jacob is, I want them to feel his pain, to cheer when he finds his wife and/or son. I want a guy to play this game and walk away with a 'wow, that was intense' feeling.

Wow, coulda sworn I made a New Year's post. Oh well.

Let's see . . . . Alex is out (got the distinct feeling of 'brush off' every time I talked to her). Oh well, life goes on.

I've taken to shooting pool most Friday nights at Fast Eddies. Yes, I suck . . . horribly. I usually play with Adelle who is in desperate need of house-out-of-getting.

I got my raise, finally. Woo hoo, an extra . . . $20 a month after tax . . . . some how I feel like a two grand raise should have more effect but meh.

Got re-hooked into Star Wars Galaxies. At this current incarnation it's a more complex, sci-fi WoW. Being that I also have EQII (albeit an inactive account) and also wanted to try out Vanguard (sooooooo hot, even in it's current bugged-ass might-as-well-be-beta version), I went ahead and signed up for a Station Pass. This nifty little thingy is SOE's way of trying to keep you playing their games. In my case, it works fine. It's basically a once-a-month fee of I think $25-$30 that gives you account access to every game SOE makes. SWG, EQ, EQII, VGSOH(vanguard), Planetside (like anyone still plays that), etc. So, with the three games I play it means I'm basically paying $10 or less a month for each. Schweeet!

About Vanguard: if I haven't mentioned it already this game is the shit. Granted, it's an SOE production so it's only a matter of time before it's nerfed to oblivion or completely re-written (ala SWG). On the plus side the actual developer (Sigil Games), seems to have a decent head on it's shoulders. Apparently headed by one Brad McQuaid (apparently responsible for the 'Vision' of EQ), I had my doubts at first. If you're curious why, do a google search for his name, EQ, and the term Vision all in one. Be sure to bring popcorn and a comfy chair, you'll be there for a bit.

I guess I'll go ahead and outline the parts I like first.

Ok, I lied. First off is a so-so which borders on dislike: they're sticking with a class-based system. Don't get me wrong, I understand why. The concept behind the original SWG was awesome but prone to failure. Basically, the more choices you provide a player in how to make a character diverse, the more likely they are to find that one combo you didn't see which makes it overpowered. Thus leading to an extended period of FotM (Flavor of the Month/Moment) balancing. The problem with the open-level systems is that it's much harder to balance, say, 200 possible outcomes than it is, say, 9 of them. So, in 'nerfing' one combination they would inadvertently over-nerf another and/or power-up the next one. So the FotM cycle continues.

Right, history lesson over. This is followed by a 'I like', so relax. Vanguard uses a class system, yes, but they also acknowledge the core areas of MMOs that people play them for. Vanguard takes them as 'Spheres'. They're classified as Adventuring, Crafting, and Diplomacy in Vanguard.

Taken in step, Adventuring is your standard "I like sword", "poke 'em 'till they die from it" style of play. This is your usual MMO focus. Ok, the 1st 'Sphere' is covered.

Next, Crafting. Go figure, some of us like to make a semi-lasting impression on the game world. Speaking from some experience, nothing is more satisfying that inspecting another player and seeing 'Crafted by ' on their equipment, where your name is inserted as appropriate. Crafting in Vanguard is fairly standard fair, nothing really ground breaking. It is nice though that they provide a means of experience that doesn't require hours upon days of resource gathering. Work Orders, as they're called, are limited use crafting recipes that you make. They provide their own resources and you turn in the finished product for rewards (mostly coin but sometimes REALLY nice items). Ok, 2nd 'Sphere' covered.

Last, Diplomacy. This is for all you socialites but even more for you lore-mongers. Like to learn new and interesting things about the game world and its history? Diplomacy is for you.
Diplomacy is probably the most unique aspect of this game. It has been said, and I agree, that it could be taken out of Vanguard, boxed up and put on a shelf, and sold as is. Essentially, through a 'mini-game' involving cards, you are able to affect the game world around you. Initially, you're mostly learning about the history of your region and race. Later, as you progress in your silvery-tongue glory, you can actually work over a city to the point that people in that city gain a nice buff, such as crafting improvements or damage improvements, etc. These bonuses usually last for an hour, so quite nice.

And, just because I know you all care so much, here's a link to my current main character:
Saera

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! :)

Many gift-cards and one game later, I'm firmly entrenched in FFXII. This game roxors the soxors muchly. Currently escaping from an airship and let me say; the cut-scenes are awesome. And skippable! Which is nice when reloading a save for the umpteenth time! More to come later :)

For anyone interested, I've started an LJ Community for the development of Destiny Manifest. You can find it at defmandev. Cheers!

First, never go a week between work outs. I could barely walk yesterday and it hurts to sit down today. This is because my Krav class on Saturday decided it would be fun to 'step it up a notch' . . . woo.
We began with 50 jumping jacks (side stradle hops for you military and PC types). Ok, fine, no real issue there. Then we did 50 standing cherry pickers. This is where you effective do a jumping jack on your front/back axis as opposed to the left/right axis. You throw your right leg forward, left leg back, your right arm up, your left arm down. Switch. Repeat, rapidly. Again, not too bad. A little winded afterwards, but nothing serious. Then came the lunges, which is synonomous with your chosen four letter word here at Krav. 100 total, approximately. See, we don't count when we do these, they're a 'distance' exercise. Roughly 100 feet from one side of the mat to the other. To do a lunge, you keep your hands up in a boxing guard (elbow bent, hands near your face). You then step forward and lower yourself to your rear knee. You then lift up and take onther step, repeating this process. We went down to one end, back to the other, down once more, and back once more. My entire upper leg section hurts like hell today.

TS1 came by yesterday to drop something off. It was odd seeing her with short hair. It's not a bad look, mind you; it's actually very flattering. It's just so alien from what I knew for six years that it took me a little by suprise, even though I was expecting it.

I spent most of Saturday at Chad's after Krav. He wasn't at the work out so I wanted to see if he was ok. Turns out he was having one of my days; just generally sluggish and feeling a little odd. I ate breakfast with his mother and him, which was nice. I then proceeded to play Kingdom Hearts 2 for about six hours! Oddly enough, Chad was enjoying just watching the game. I still feel like I kinda took over his house, but he said that nothing was wrong, he had a good time. Either way, I'm going to try and cut back on that. He may not have a problem with it but I still feel bad.

I have Friday off this week due to Veterans day on Saturday. Yay three day weekend. With luck I can convince Alex (the Phillipino girl) to catch a movie or something. Last email I got from here suggested family problems though, to the tune of having to head to NY to sort them out. Hope everything is ok.

Interestingly enough, Moon came to me and asked to join me the next time I went shooting. It suprised me a bit but I guess that's a good sign, right? She's showing interest. Or am I just imagining things and being hopeful? Ah well.

Finances are starting to pile up, big time. Phoenix is calling for blood (to the tune of . . . $1000 at this point), I have student loan payments starting up soon, I still owe my Dad about $6000 (I think) . . . and at some point I really need to start paying back TS1. I'm feeling really bad that she keeps getting pushed back on the priority list. *sigh* At this point, I think I'll be looking at FullSail sometime in 2008 . . . yay.

On the plus side, met a girl online who seems pretty awesome. Self proclaimed Laur Croft, she was trained (sorta) by her grandfather (police) in psuedo-military stuffs. So she and I get along just fine. We're looking at hitting the range for a first date (her idea, not mine by the way . . . although it was a rocking idea). And before you ask, no, I haven't given up on Moon but I don't think that it's something that will happen anytime soon. Oh, and YAY PICS:

So, Chad and I have basically had our fill of Joe's whinning and refusal to help himself. So, while we mostly enjoy ourselves at the Battlelords game we will most likely be dropping out. I think the current plan is to start a new group with Blake and possibly Rubio, but I don't know if Rubio would be able to do that to Joe. We'll see. In any case, I'm considering starting a PBEM (play by email) game to begin playtesting the setting I had be developing as Planar Wars. I still need a better title for that. I'm looking at porting it to the EABA system just for working out the core ideas to the setting. Anyone interested in helping is more than welcome to. A copy of the EABA core rules would be needed, and while I CAN provide them at request, I'd prefer to actually support the guys at BTRC for making the system. So, if you can, please buy the PDF. It's about $12.00 if I recall correctly.

So it's been a short week, by day standards. As in; monday was a holiday so only 4 days of work, right? Yeah, not so much. 36 hours and 3 days later I'm really looking forward to FullSail next year, that nebulous time-frame that keeps shifting with financial demands.

On that note; I found out I owe Phoenix $1700 within the next, oh, 28 days. Yeah. I net about $2200 a month, so you can see how this might be a slight problem. My car insurance, gas, and credit card bills alone make up about $400 a month, leaving me about $25 a week for food. Yay. Sorry TS1, it looks like the auto-deposit is going to be held off for about another month X(

On a more positive note, I've had several people comment that I appear to be slimming down since I began Krav Maga, so happiness there. I think things are progressing well with Moon. That whole work thing gets in the way so not as easy to tell as one might think.

I'm once again working on a Robotech RPG that does NOT suck (a la Palladium's busted-ass system). I'm using EABA (do a search on OpenRPG or DriveThruRPG, or just hit www.brtc.net). It's a d6 system that blends realism and actual science without being rigid with it. Things are generalized and the term 'close enough' is used liberally. So far it's progressing fairly well. I'll try to keep a log here with the specifics (such as mecha designs, etc).